when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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