My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you had me at cake vodka
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
