How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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