I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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