I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
