Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
