i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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