I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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