you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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