She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
