Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
