I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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