oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
