New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
