Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
