okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
