Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
