he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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