Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
