Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
oh god the rape fog is back!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
