Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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