It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
