Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
