Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
