Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
