well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
