I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm really busy with my period
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