I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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