Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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