theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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