I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
