Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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