Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
