apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
