I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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