On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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