I heard we made out
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
