Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
