She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So apparently I’m into choking now
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