Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
last night I used snow as a chaser
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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