Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
