I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
