sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
