How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
