Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
