She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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