Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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