just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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