It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
