I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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